Okay, okay, here is a blog for ya all.
You all know how I think the human race is gross - we have discussed it many times. Well, I thought it would be a good idea to compile some of the top and most disgusting things that I have observed about humanity. Most of my material comes from trips to WalMart and sometimes just out in public - church, schools, amusement parks, playgrounds - anywhere that people gather.
These are all in just random order - AND please feel free to add your two cents worth because I know that there are many, many other gross things that I cannot think of right now.
Okay - here you go. Don't blame me if you feel sick after reading this, blame the public!
1. Bad Breath - need I say more?
2. Bad Teeth - (Dan, you have job security)
3. The smell of hair
4. The smell of BO - especially when it lingers in a grocery aisle from the old man that left it - who is now 3 aisles over.
5. Greasy skin
6. Fat people who ride around in the motorized shopping carts and boss their family members around especially in a grocery store, where sitting in one of those makes them think that they are an expert at food shopping - which is probably why they are buzzing around in the cart in the first place. How many bags of Doritos can you fit in the basket on those carts?
7. Hearing people cough - especially productive coughs. (gag)
8. Hearing people blow their noses and actually hearing the release of the snot during the blow - you know what I mean? Even grosser - when they look at it! (double gag)
9. People that are so overweight that you wonder if they are able to clean under the folds of skin. You know, those people that gain weight in the most abnormal places - like below the belly (pub area)
10. People with bandages over open wounds waiting in line at the pharmacy (Leslie and I have already discussed this extensively.)
11. Dirty fingernails
12. Watching someone pick their teeth with a toothpick as they are walking out of a restaurant, then looking at it and then (gag) putting it back in their mouth to eat it. (Excuse me while I clean up the vomit on my keyboard)
13. Hearing someone blow their nose in a restaurant. Excuse me, but we are trying to eat here!
14. Thick yellow toenails and dry, cracking heels.
15. Scaly, purple ankles and calves on overweight people - why is that? Steve, can you answer that one for me? Please - just wear long pants!
16. Whiteheads (especially on the sides of the nose)
17. Bad Breath - needs to be mentioned a few times
18. Ear hair
19. Nose hair coming out of nose
20. Gray nose hair coming out of nose
21. Big moles on the face (Really, you think the scar would look any worse, come on...)
22. Mustard anywhere near someone's mouth (That's for you Tracy)
23. Food stains on people's fingers
24. Food in someone's teeth
25. Seeing food fingerprint stains in books that I have checked out from the library. (Note to myself - keep a bottle of Purell near my nightstand)
26. Walking through someone's fart. (triple gag) What is floating in the air with that?
27. The sights, the sounds, the smells of public bathrooms says it all. Oh yeah, and the general wetness in there - around the toilets and sinks...
28. Hearing people go to the bathroom and then leaving without washing hands. (Time to take a bath in Purell)
29. Crumbs and food stains in people's cars. Apologizing for the mess does not make it any easier to sit down on the seat - and what is this stain on the seatbelt going across my chest?
30. Tank tops on men with hairy armpits with dripping sweat.
31. Tank tops on women with old lady skin - snake like and wrinkly. But if they have a tan - it's worse.
32. Watching people eat and sometimes watching food fly out of someone's mouth while they are talking.
33. Lipstick on straws.
34. Lipstick on teeth.
35. Lipstick on clothes you want to try on.
36. Crusty... anything. An adjective that should not have to be used to describe anything on a human. My dog can have crusty anything and I will still love him - he can't help it.
37. Bad Breath - can't say it enough. (I have to hate if I smell...)
38. Floating clouds (boogers) in the nose.
39. Food in mustaches - especially when lunch was like 3 hours ago.
40. Seeing someone pick their nose. (Why do people think they are invisible when they do this activity in their car?)
Okay - I came up with 40 reasons people are gross. Please feel free to add your own. I'm sure I'm forgetting many more. But please remember - these do not pertain to family members and a few choice friends (okay, maybe some of you).
5 comments:
41. Saliva strands between someone's lips as they talk
42. Eye boogers (on winston it's okay...on people it's just gross)
43. man boobs
44. Really long gray hair
45. Walking out of a restaurant (tooth pick in the mouth) and someone doing a hiccup/burp as they rub their overly full belly.
46. Girls (like the ones on the bachelor) who look like they smell like excessive amounts of cheap perfume and layers of stale, stinky face make-up and have day- after alcohol breath.
47. Perms
48. wet jerry curl
49. men + gold chains
50. men + hair creeping out over their shirt collars.
51. men.
more to come...we're visting walmart tonight
52. Sweat in the creases/folds of a fat man or woman's shirt in the summer
53. Mom's watching their babies suck on the handle of the shopping cart while the baby is sitting in the germy, sticky baby seat
53. People sneezing on their hand and then wiping their hand on their pants (therefore you know it was a productive sneeze)
54. People who sneeze on their hand and wipe it and THEN pick something up or touch a door handle
55. When you can tell someone hasn't cleaned their ears out for weeks because you can see layers of wax in the ear that is facing you from 5 feet away
56. Again, bad breath.
57. Dan---men with gold chains...+ in a wife beater with chest hair
58. Men that lift their arm up to grab something only to put on display their curly armpit hair with beads of sweat attached
59. Toilets with pee or poo or both or bloody tampons that have not been flushed...WHY
Okay how 'bout
60. Gross, filthy, calloused heels that looked like they've been ignored for year and give me the gagas to think of the feel of them on carpet.
61. Remains of the bread from a sandwich in your teeth after lunch. I can take spinach in teeth much easier than bread in teeth. Gross!
62. Vericose (sp?) veins and now they have a commercial that shows close ups. Can't turn the channel fast enough.
63. All Democrats
64. Michelle Obama's underbite
Okay, I FINALLY came up with a few of my own...
65. Girls that wear their tank tops too short and pants too tight and low so they can show off their muffin tops.
66. People who announce that they don't remember eating corn
67. People who eat the left over food under their long fingernails after a meal (Yes, I have witnessed this)
68. Long hair that needs to be trimmed about 5 inches because it is so uneven and thinned out at the bottom.
69. Hair that looks wet, that really isn't
70. Guys that pierce their ears with those huge holes that can be up to an inch wide! I can't wait to see what they will look like at age 50 or older!
Okay I just found your blog...first off...you are hilarious and I do not think you are boring at all. I love you in nursery and will cry real tears when you are released. And Luke will never go again.
On that note, I thought of something gross.
71. Hair that is not yours on the toilet seat.
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